Bones and Paintballs
by That Old Black Magic
Summary: Booth and Brennan go paintballing. Just a little BB fun.


A/N: Paintballing is something I've always wanted to try. So I made my favourite pair go paintballing! This is just a really long drabble. I don't know how amusing it is, but it was fun for me to write. If you want, send a review and tell me your opinion.

* * *

What moron decided to take Brennan paint-balling? That would be Booth and now he was paying dearly for his blunder. _What an idiot you are Seeley Booth_, he thought.

_Only you would bring the most trigger-happy anthropologist who's more than willing to shoot your arse off to a paint-balling range. Oh yes, that was a real smart move. Why don't I just win the World's Biggest Moron award while I'm at it?_

Currently, his partner had disappeared. _Oh God, she's planning some fully-fledged assault now. It'll be a miracle if I live to see the sunset._

Suddenly a paintball whizzed dangerously close to Booth's ear. He managed to duck out of the way and pop back up to see Brennan, grinning like she was having the time of her life.

"Bones!" he yelled. " What the bloody hell was that?" Before she had a chance to answer, realisation dawned on Booth. "That was aimed for my head!" he shouted incredulously.

"Oh Booth, do you ever stop complaining? Of course it was aimed for your head. My ears need a rest from your constant whining," she said, throwing a small pebble at his head.

This time, her aim rang true. The small stone bounced off his skull with a satisfying clunk. "Is that a hollow sound I hear Booth?" she asked playfully.

Being hit on the head with a stone did not put Booth in a good mood. "If I wanted to get rocks thrown at me, we would have went to the rock-throwing range. But this is paint-balling. _Paint-balling_," he gestured at the guns they were holding.

"Well obviously. It isn't exactly a melon-throwing contest is it?" she shot back, her look telling him she just wanted to shoot him and get it over and done with. "But you moaned when I shot a paint-ball at you. So I threw something else at you instead." She said this all as if this should be obvious to him.

He sighed. "Can we get back to the game after you've insulted my ego in every way possible? Or do we want to comment on some of my other character flaws while we're at it?"

She nodded her approval before another piece of red paint sailed towards him. "Yeah, ok."

"Charge!" he yelled, chasing after her, firing green paint at her. He ran forward, with his imaginary cavalry behind him.

"Don't you dare shoot my ass!" she hollered back, fleeing her partner.

"And why the hell not?" he countered, still shooting at her retreating form, now aiming directly at her backside.

"Cause if you do, you won't like any of the places my gun can go," she growled, menace in her voice.

Booth pulled up short. That could be a very bad fate. He could see the headlines now : _Man found dead with paintball up nose._ Oh yeah, a very bad fate indeed.

Brennan had disappeared. Booth was in real trouble now. _Where was she? _He really didn't need her springing down from a tree onto his head, while he ran around screaming blue murder.

Brennan appeared from behind a rock, a bit of material ripped from her t-shirt tied round her head. She looked like she would cook him in a pot and eat him.

"Whoa there Rambo," he said, his palms up in defence.

"The elephant?" she questioned, looking confused.

"That was Dumbo. Rambo, Bones." He was greeted with a rather blank look on her face.

Booth took his chance. He shot at her leg. " Oww!" Brennan rubbed her leg once or twice before leaping at Booth.

The FBI agent was tackled to the ground by Brennan's form before being hit on the shoulder repeatedly with her gun.

Each whack came with a word. "Damn…You…Seeley…Booth."

"Stop mugging me Bones! What the hell are you these days, GI Joe?"

This only earned Booth more whacks. "Stop…Using…References…"

"I'm going to end up in the home Bones! The old folks home because I'll have senile dementia the amount of times you've whacked my head around," he growled, rolling her onto her back, Booth gaining the upper hand.

"And?"

"And you're gonna be leaving me outside the door in a wheelbarrow with a note saying 'Crazy Old Coot' while I sing Tra La La," he envisioned this thought quite vividly.

"I promise that won't happen," she smiled up at him.

"Really?" he said gently.

"Yeah, I'll sell you to the circus instead," she grinned.

"Comforting," he smiled back at her. "Make sure you get a good price for me."

"A bag of peanuts maybe?" she said, wrinkling her nose in amusement. " Or maybe I could trade you for a clown?"

"Oh very funny," he shot back, even though he was grinning at her. She looked so cute when she did that. "I thought I _was_ your clown."

"True," she said. Gently poking him in the shoulder, "It's always a bundle of laughs when you're around."

"Is that sarcasm I hear Bones?" he joked, gently brushing his fingers along her neck.

"Booth!" she shrieked, trying to wriggle out of his reach.

"You're not getting away that easy!" Booth growled, pulling her back and tickling her mercilessly.

"No! No!" she shouted, desperately struggling to break free. "Anything but the tickle monsters!"

Booth fell to the side in a fit of laughter. "The tickle monsters," he gasped between laughter.

"Hey shut up!" she playfully hit him on the chest. "I can't help that! My dad used to call them that when I was a kid!"

Booth reached up and softly rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry I laughed in that case," he said quietly, smiling his apology.

"It's ok," she said, leaning on his chest. "I'll get you back for it." He heard a click around his wrist.

* * *

"You can't handcuff people to trees on a paint-balling range Bones!" he yelled after she had picked up her gun. "It's politically incorrect!"

"I reckon I can. I already have. And screw politics," she grinned wickedly, before raising her gun.

Booth's thoughts were running riot._ Oh no. Handcuffed to a tree with a Bones who looks like she might shout "Here's Bones!" _

She fired a few shots. "Oww, oww, OWW!" he yelped. "Jeez Bones, I would still like to have more children one day."

"That is, if you ever escape!" she laughed.

"You can't leave me here! Who's gonna drive you places? Who's gonna question suspects? Most of all, who's gonna be your partner!?" he said, surprised.

"I'll take Angela instead," she replied coolly.

"What? Angela isn't me!" He was appalled.

"Yeah and I'm sure a good few people wouldn't end up shot if Ange was out in the field."

"Be reasonable Bones!" he hollered, struggling to get free.

"Fine," she said, giving in and producing the keys. "As long as I'm declared the winner."

"You drive a hard bargain Bones. Think of being a lawyer?" he asked, rubbing his wrist as he was let free.

"No," she answered, making her way back towards the hut to hand in their guns.

"Yeah that's probably a wise decision. I'm not sure karate-chopping a confession out of the suspects would go down too well in court."

"Like I would do such a thing!"

"Please, you and your fists of fury strike fear into the hearts of the bravest men!"

"Exactly," she smiled.

_Yep, complete moron Booth. It's an absolute wonder you didn't come back less of a man._


End file.
